Are You Seeing Things Clearly?
I got new varifocals this week and while I’m not hung up on being 48 I did think the event was an indicator of my increasing age And because I’d heard that people struggle with them I was mindful that I might not take to them straight away. I had the new lenses put into one set of frames first and then went to pick up my sunglasses pair later that afternoon. The lady at the Opticians asked how I was getting on and I said “it never occurred to me that I would like them straight away!”. I had listened to the negative feedback I’d heard on varifocals and left it totally unchallenged in my mind. When I expressed concerns before I tried the new lenses, the Optical lady said “people who don’t take to them are much more vocal (varifocal vocal – tee hee!) than those that do. Wise words. I still thought I’d fall over as soon as I walked out of the shop.
I was too busy thinking that it would be difficult and it had genuinely not occurred to me how good it would be to be able to see things more clearly, albeit needing to move my head up and down a bit more. Dopey of me. I worked on my laptop quite happily all afternoon and got used to how things come into and go out of focus. But overall, I can see more clearly and that’s fabulous!
Are there things that you might not be seeing clearly? Whether that be job stuff, work-life balance, relationships – either romantic or with family and friends? Sometimes it’s easier to stick with what we know, that can feel more comfortable even when the situation we’re in is hugely uncomfortable. Things can become ‘normal’ (whatever that means!) over a period of time and we struggle to find our way out of things.
There’s a wonderful exercise in Chimp Management which talks about The Stone of Life, which gives a structure for people to identify their truths, values and life force. Your life force is, for you, what life’s about. What you would say to your great grandchild, as you lay on your death bed and have one more minute to live. They ask you ‘what’s your advice for how I should live my life’ and you talk about the advice you wish you’d known when you were younger and the things that you’ve learned with age and experience. Your truths of life might include things like, life’s not fair, some people will never change and you will make mistakes. Your values might include things like honesty, integrity, kindness and being joyful.
Creating your stone of life and building the list of your truths about life, re-connecting with your values and thinking about what, for you, life is all about might help you to re-evaluate your priorities and think about your perspective on your current life. Are you trudging along in a job, relationship or health situation, just to pay the bills and not make a fuss? Would you want that for a loved one? For your great grandchild that you’ve just told the meaning of your life to? They wouldn’t want that for you either so have a think about where you’re at with things and how you might like to change certain aspects of your life.
Standing up for yourself and changing things takes a lot of energy and if a situation is getting you down, your energy level will have dropped and so it can become harder to relocate your mojo and get your kick-ass inner strength going again! But if you take slow and steady steps there’s no reason why you can’t climb out of a difficult situation and regain control, if you want to. There are lots of reasons why people do and don’t do things in life and in western society we’re very lucky, I think that we’re able to make those choices. Just don’t have regrets. I heard on the radio one morning recently, about a 70 year old lady who was going for her first swimming lesson that day. ‘That’s cool’, I thought, ‘we’re never too old to learn or do something new’.
Please don’t think the cool young kids have all the opportunities, there’s still a huge value in age and experience, and employers, voluntary agencies and your own children recognise that. Some of our greatest scientists, painters and writers have achieved their best work over the age of 65. The young’uns might not need flippin varifocals but I do think age and experience can help you to see things more clearly, especially when we’re brave enough to hold a mirror up to our own lives.
Take good care please and have a great day.
Best wishes, Karen