Feeling Good is Hard Work!
I’ve been talking this week about negative cycles of behaviour which can impact on our confidence, self esteem and self belief. Which made me think, as I trotted around the block in the sunshine (v good self care) that feeling good about yourself can be hard work! It’s certainly not something that we can tick off the list as done and then not think about it any more. Unfortunately :-/
You will have printed off the positive word list from last week of course. I’ve added it below if that somehow slipped off your to do list Keeping focused on the things we’re good at, like doing and that are important to us helps us to sustain a positive mindset but there are also cycles of behaviour that can add a different dimension to how you’re feeling. And if your cycle of behaviour then interacts with someone else’s who is in a very different place to you then it can really feel like an uphill struggle to stay positive.
I can think of times in the past when I’ve been doing my best to keep positive, embrace the positive aspects of my life and focus on how well I’m doing. I’ve then talked to a friend who’s been in a very different place to me and come away thinking that it’s all a load of old rubbish and what’s the point anyway. So be mindful of who’s around you and how their mood might impact on your progress.
Negative self belief can lead to negative expectations of a day or event, which can result in self limiting behaviour, which supports low self esteem and reinforces negative self belief. You don’t expect much to go well and so typically it doesn’t. If something really positive does happen you might struggle to lift your head to acknowledge it and feel proud.
Positive self belief is more likely to lead to positive, optimistic expectations of a day or event, which supports adaptability if things do go wrong, which demonstrates effective behaviour that supports high self esteem and reinforces positive self belief. You feel that you’ll be able to manage situations that you’re confronted with and reflect on those events to think what you might have done differently. You’re happy to learn from those things as you recognise how that supports your own development.
In reality we’re, hopefully, not in the extremes of either cycle of behaviour but can move between the two, depending on situations and the people we’re with. It will take an enormous amount of energy to jump from a negative cycle of behaviour into a wholly positive one but you can make steady steps of progress towards a more positive mindset. Recognising the things you’re good at (positive word list – the last nag I promise!) and the positives of your day will help. I think some self doubt is good. Without it we would turn into egomaniacs and think we could rule the world. To question ourselves can be healthy, just don’t turn it into self doubt, criticism and negative thought patterns.
This week has demonstrated (for us in the UK) that the clouds can clear and the sun can shine. If Mother Nature can make changes like she does, than so can you
Take good care please, have a great weekend.
Best wishes, Karen